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Interesting Facebook Status Messages & Quotes
Oh, you’re popular on facebook? That’s cool. I mean, these days it’s easy to have 1,500 friends that you’ve never met before.
Facebook is obviously from California because it says “Like” so many times.
Life without music is like Facebook without notifications.
You should have two Facebook accounts. One for each face.
I don’t always have a cool facebook status. But when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
The Poke option is okay, but when is Facebook going to come out with a Punch option?
You know you’re broke when: 1. the Dollar Store is too expensive. 2. You literally don’t have two-cents to rub together. 3. You play Farmville for a vacation.
Dear God, please give us back Michael Jackson and in exchange we’ll give you Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros. Sincerely, Me
Insert coin to view status message?
When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either the car is new or the wife is.
Facebook should expand their relationship status field to include: One Night Stand, Friends With Benefits and Do it Yourself.
If she has 500 likes & 500 comments on a picture, what’s missing? Her clothes.
Facebook should have a button that says “in a flirtationship” because it seems like thats all there ever is anymore.
Facebook is like the fridge you keep checking it but there’s nothing good.
Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary.
Tell a therapist, not Facebook.
Scratch here – ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal today’s status?
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Facebook…… Half Social Network….. Half Shoe Store! Didn’t Know I Was At The Mall.
Facebook is a popularity contest…and I’m losing.
I thought you were good looking, until I clicked “view more pictures”.
You know you had fun when you can’t tell your parents what you did.
Facebook is like relationships. Faithful on your walls but cheating in your inbox.
The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is because they can see right down your shirt.
Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “Unstable”.
It’s called Facebook not Boobbook. So next time try to get you face in the picture too.
Because of Facebook I never miss an argument, know when there’s gonna be a fight and when people break up.
Twitter makes me like people I’ve never met and because of Facebook I hate people I know in real life.
It’s just Facebook, I wish people would keep it real and stop fronting.
Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.
Facebook is asking,” What’s on your mind?” but I think “Copied? paste here......?” is a better question
Relationship Status:”Single” “Married” “Divorced” “Complicated”…. Hey Facebook, can we get an option that says “Fuck Relationships”?
Sorry Facebook, you keep saying you’ve changed, but it’s too late. I’m already in love with someone else & his name is twitter.
You don’t have to like me. I’m not a Facebook status.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue. No mutual friends, so who the fuck are you ?
Facebook is like a refrigerator. You get bored and keep checking, but nothing ever changes.
Because of Facebook I have failing grades, insomnia & I’m slowly beginning to see the fake in people as the days go by.
Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it.
Facebook doesn’t ruin relationships, Getting caught in your lies does.
Choose your Facebook profile Pic carefully. It’ll be the one they use when you go missing.
Face your problems, not Facebook it.
Facebook should have a “I don’t know you” as an option to ignore a friend request.
Riding’ solo should be a relationship status.
If you insist on telling me about your plans for the weekend, I suggest you do it in the bathroom, as it’s the only place I’ll give a shit.
My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible…
The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source
Who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like it’s the morning paper?
Unless your name is GOOGLE…stop acting like you KNOW EVERYTHING…
I bet that in prison everyone’s FB relationship status is set to “it’s complicated”.
I remember that one time, before Facebook, when I went outside and did stuff.
I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
Without Facebook I probably wouldn’t have wished you a happy birthday.
Welcome to Facebook! Where liars tell more lies, enemies are Facebook friends, weak people turn into Facebook gangsters, haters complain about haters and every person who talks about money ain’t got none.
Never on schedule, but always on time.
They say real girls ain’t never perfect, perfect girls ain’t never real.
Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.
In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook.
We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.
Facebook is like jail; you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.
You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post,
I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
I want a real relationship; not a facebook one.
Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.
Category : Facebook
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